That hurt

Last night, the wife was in the bedroom and called out to the boy who was sitting in the living room and reading. He ignored it and I asked him to go find out why he is being called. And he muttered under his breath - "Mind your business" That hurt! I told him I did not like the way he spoke to me. I presume there will be more instances of retorts like this.

Festive ocassion

 And the boy came with me to meet my mother reluctantly. His last trip to see her was in November 2023. The wife did not accompany us.

The boy's priorities have changed. I don't know if this is a phase of his life where he does not want to miss out on things. TV time and playing with friend's are his priority now. He hardly spoke to my mother and after lunch he gently started nudging me suggesting that we leave. Since my mother had old school cable TV with only regional programs, the boy did not have anything interesting to watch either.

Times change.

Masks and Covid

The boy has started saying no to playing with friends who do not wear their masks / do not wear it properly.

The other day when we were discussing Covid and numbers he remarked "Don't talk about Covid, I feel terrible!"

On the food front, his breakfast quantity has increased. Encouragement to chew the food properly has not gone down well.

Key passages from Grit - Useful insights for parenting

The following passages from Grit: Why passion and resilience are the secrets to success by Angela Duckworth 

Sometimes, when I talk to anxious parents, I get the impression they’ve misunderstood what I mean by grit. I tell them that half of grit is perseverance—in response, I get appreciative head nods—but I also tell them that nobody works doggedly on something they don’t find intrinsically interesting. Here, heads often stop nodding and, instead, cock to the side.

“Just because you love something doesn’t mean you’ll be great,” says self-proclaimed Tiger Mom Amy Chua. “Not if you don’t work. Most people stink at the things they love.” I couldn’t agree more. Even in the development of your interests, there is work—practicing, studying, learning —to be done. Still, my point is that most people stink even more at what they don’t love.

So, parents, parents-to-be, and non-parents of all ages, I have a message for you: Before hard work comes play. Before those who’ve yet to fix on a passion are ready to spend hours a day diligently honing skills, they must goof around, triggering and retriggering interest. Of course, developing an interest requires time and energy, and yes, some discipline and sacrifice.

But at this earliest stage, novices aren’t obsessed with getting better. They’re not thinking years and years into the future. They don’t know what their top-level, life-orienting goal will be. More than anything else, they’re having fun.

In other words, even the most accomplished of experts start out as unserious beginners.

The "bro" code

"See you bro, my mother is calling" the boy replied to some one on the phone. 

All of 7 years old. Talk about the effects of hanging out with older children!

Hindi

In his previous school, because of limitations, Hindi was not taught well. 

That showed now as the boy was not confident and resisted learning it. At one time he said he hated it. The wife had a talk with his class coordinator and things have improved now.

Confusion

The boy seriously - "Amma, I do not know if I should join the Army, the Air Force or start my own band"

My mind voice - "Dude, stop throwing tantrums first and play football seriously"

The boy seems to throw tantrums at the drop of a hat. It just does not get better!

The boy participated in a make your own Diya and came up with the above lamps.

Chaperone

We have a small play area in the apartment.

Ever since the boy discovered the joys of outdoors and the play area became his go to place (after Ah's house), one of us have always accompanied him.

With him learning to cycle without the training wheels, it became hard to keep up with him.

Today for the first time, he went out on his own on the cycle and came back. I think the days of chaperoning are behind. It also points to how fast they grow up.

Today he said the 4 letter word and said he made it up. I hope he is telling the truth. We told him it is a bad word and not to use it.

School timing fantasies

The boy - "I wish there was school everyday, but only from 830 to 1130 and not till 130. That way it will be equal on Saturdays and Sundays also and I will not be bored on weekends"

Orphanage and piggy bank

"Where are you going tomorrow? It's Independence Day and a holiday."
"I am going to an orphanage."
"What is that?"
"It is a place where there are children who don't have nice clothes to wear, pencil, eraser, books and such things which you have. Some of us are helping by giving them money to buy things."
"How much money are you giving?"
"X rupees"
The boy thought, and after a while "Could I give some money from my piggy bank?"
My heart melted.

It also reinforces my thought that our children learn from our actions.
They observe. A lot.
You may not notice.
One big sponge they are that soaks up things.
Put out the good things and they will soak that up.

Gag

We literally had to gag the boy on Friday night as he threw a tantrum after midnight. Didn't want to brush, change into night clothes and screaming to Top it. He was just being unreasonable after our good friends AAD left.

The boy has been having an Avengers education from Ah and after a lot of pleading and begging we got him the Avengers bag. He was thrilled.

Conversations

Conversation between the boy and B(Aa and Ah's mom).

B - "Why did you throw a tantrum today?"
The boy - Smiling sheepishly..."Did you hear me?"
B - "Of course that's why I got a headache"
B - "Why did you shout and cry so much?"
The boy - "Because of my mom and dad"
B - "What did they do?"
The boy - "They didn't stop me from crying"
B - "But why did you cry in the first place"
The boy - "Achan didn't allow me to come to your house"
B - "Why didn't he allow you?"
The boy - "Just like that"
The boy - "I have a bad headache..not because of Ah. Ah is not troubling. I have a headache because of my mom's shouting"

Attitude

One of the things I do not approve of is when people eat their food in front of TV.

Which is more important? Where is your respect for food? And mindless eating.

The boy at his age is like a sponge, soaking up everything - what we say, what we do.

So when I got into an argument with the wife for eating in front of the TV, the boy coolly said "Achan, ignore Amma". I was impressed with the boy's attitude of letting go.

A talk with him later in the day...

The boy - "Whom will I marry when I become big?"
I - "Why do you need to marry? "
The boy - "Then only I will have children."
I - "Why do you need to have children? Can you handle their crying? You cannot handle your own crying..."
The boy - "If he cries, I will shift the house without him"
I - "Good idea! We will do the same thing the next time you cry"
The boy - "Nooo...katti I won't be your friend!"

Cycle fixed and PTM

The chain was coming off inspite of repeated fixing. Took it to a nearby mechanic who changed a spindle. The boy was off it for almost a week.

The boy also had his PTM at school. He has started volunteering to speak up and interacting with children outside his close circle. That is good news.

The boy's musings

One of the aged residents in our apartment passed away and the boy saw the priest coming in to do the last rites. Suddenly he asked, "If I die who will do mine?". 'You all will be gone!" he said sitting in B's house. Aa replied that he will have children and the boy was shocked. "How do I take care of babies!?"

The boy can sit without a potty seat.

He has a new found live for Paw Patrol now.

Xmas and NY

The boy had holidays for 18 days and that is a lot of work for the wife.

For Christmas, we drove to Hyderabad to visit Ia. Lovely roads!

The boy was thrilled to see Ia. They played, fought, made up and spent a lot of time in her tent. Apart from the usual places to eat, we visited the Hyderabad Kids Fair at Hitex. A lot of children's products and services. We picked up a reusable book from 1leaf. He loved the sunroof in Ia's car and wanted to buy a Honda City.

The boy was sad to leave.

The last week of 2017 whizzed past. We met friends in The Local and Windmills Craftworks and the boy loved it.

For the New Year program in our apartment, the boy participated in a dance.

Paw Patrol is his latest craze. He can sit and watch that for hours.

Some of the amusing things he says :-
"You are going to be in trouble"
"The hospital is not helping, I am asking the rocket to take you to God"
"I am going to buy 4 cars. Honda City, Lamborghini, Bugatti and Porsche. When Honda City gets dirty, I will drive the Lamborghini. When Lamborghini gets dirty,  I will drive the Porsche. When the Porsche gets dirty, I will drive the Bugatti. When the Bugatti gets dirty, I will wash the Honda City and drive it"

Puking

It happened 2 times in the last week. Start crying citing leg pain or ear pain around midnight, start coughing and then throw up the dinner.
And in the morning? No mention of any of the pains.

Children's Day

And the boy was thrilled!

He woke up early, did not throw a tantrum, drank his milk eagerly, wore his favorite t-shirt and was ready much before his usual time.

The van was early and they were going on a field trip to their branch school.

Yesterday, back from school, the boy proclaimed that it was the World Kindness Day and promised that he would not throw any tantrums!

PTM and Dr visit

We had our first PTM and the boy was excited about it. The teachers were happy with his progress. The boy volunteered in a Show and Tell event about importance of water(we did not prepare him for it). A big step considering his history in the previous school.
The boy loves coloring, music, activities and story time. He is not a big fan of reading which explains his reluctance to go to school in the last 2 weeks. His latest concern is that there will not be water and diesel by year 2020

The boy still complained of stomach pain and we took him to Dr S, who did not find anything wrong. He asked us to continue keeping him off processed foods and milk.

Of behavior and words

A lot of talk and some tantrums. And it has not been easy.

The boy is loving the school but insists on doing the revision/homework - which is a good thing. Except that we as parents, are not sure whether we are teaching him phonics right. We would rather let the teachers do that. That...the boy does not want.  He insists on learning at home.
The boy also had a small potty accident at school.

At home, he has stopped using the stool to stand to reach the bathroom sink. The boy is growing tall.

The talks continue. Some of them surprise me. Gen Alpha?
"Have some patience, OK?"
"Put both your hands on the steering wheel please when you drive"
"I forgot what I did in school yesterday. You should have asked me yesterday. When I grow older, may be 8, I will remember" in response to my question of how was school yesterday.
"When you do something, you should always think", this came up suddenly when he was sitting on the potty seat.
"Should I reduce the volume of the fan instead of speed?" when his grandmother remarked that the fan was loud.
"I saw 4 Mercedes, if I see 2 more that would be good"
"If I say please you should agree!"

The boy's tantrums are strange. One was against me eating lunch. He just didn't want me to eat lunch and went on crying. Another one was for drinking water from the bottle, he wanted me to fill it immediately.

He is a bad loser. Game has to be played according to his rules.

Not sure where he picked up the latest habit from - every sentence is started with a heavy breath. The kind of breath that the people who have wheezing take?