Last day of the year

Today morning I made Ragi but added some jaggery (melted and filtered to remove impurities) and the boy liked it.

Last day of the year and when I look back, I cannot believe the boy has come into our lives. He is a joy to handle, has a nice demeanor and the moment you see him, you are totally in the present and forget about everything else. I wonder whether it is for this exact feeling that people have children. And when they grow up, they miss this feeling and have another one only to realize it is too much (or too many?) of a good thing!

A birthday party

The boy’s nails are sharp. I remember the first time I cut them, when he was a couple of months old. The skin bled and after that I have been very careful. I cut them today and enjoys when they are filed. I also trimmed his hair in the front.

He turned over 5 times today. Looked as if he wanted to reiterate that the first time he did was not a fluke!

The boy also attend his first birthday party. There were close to 50 children and majority of them were insistent on getting return gifts. I wonder where this culture came from? Back in my days, birthday party meant cutting a cake, eating a snack, some talk and back home. This party had a theme – spider man, there was a MC, games and return gifts.

Bouncer and Ragi

Back home and the boy has his Fisher Price bouncer set up. 

He was wide eyed initially but later adjusted to the lights and the jing bang on it.  
He started on Ragi (Manna Ragi Rich)  and finished it.

Boil one cup of water, add 2 table spoons of Ragi, keep stirring it till it is in a solid-liquid state. Cool it and feed. I tasted it and it is pretty tasteless. 

He has become restless after we got back. Whining and crying when being rocked to sleep. For the first time I had to use a pram in the night to pacify him.

Eating rice

The boy’s chooru oonu (first taste of solid food, rice in this case) in the Guruvayur temple. He was in a traditional outfit (with the diaper!) He sat through the heat and the countless people surrounding him. Towards the end of the ceremony, he started getting cranky and eventually slept. This was followed by a Thulabharam (an offering to Gods where the boy sits on one side of a giant weighing scale while the other side was loaded with ghee). The boy weighed 6 kgs.

Typically this ceremony means that the boy can get started on solid foods. He preferred the payasam (Kheer) to the rice though. My parents, after all the fuss they made when I got married, surprised us by turning up. All together it went well. 

Another trip and flip

His second car ride (closer to 550 km) all the way to mallu land (Kerala). He sat through it very well. The usual - eat, sleep, potty.  

The family house is more than 100 years old and is one of the few surviving nalukettu in the region. In its inner verandah, when all the family was watching, he flipped on his own - turned and lay on his belly when the whole family was watching!

A full apple

He ate a full apple!

Passport finally...

His eyes are glued shut in the morning because of the secretion from his eyes. It is a pitiful sight to watch. On the bright side his passport was delivered today.

Left handed

The boy was a bit moody yesterday. All smiles and he suddenly cried. Put him on my shoulder, rocked him and he was quiet. He looked cool in red round Tee and a red checked shirt. Trouble was when it was time to remove it – it just would not come off! We had to cut through the sleeve. 

He loves staring at his fingers. He was sucking my finger and at the same time admiring his own fingers on his left hand. He does it only with his left hand and not right. Is he going to grow up left handed?

Apple

The boy had his first solids - mashed apple. I was at work but he loved it.  The apple was peeled, cut into small pieces, boiled and after grinding was fed to him.

Police station

The boy’s first visit to the police station as a part of the wife’s passport verification :-)The cops were very helpful. We had to go come back with more documentation though.

He is outgrowing his clothes. Went and bought new ones.

Passport

The Passport Office website stated the minors could walk in anytime during the working hours. We went in person and found that option was only from 9 to 11. The boy’s appointment was 230. So after the wife went in at 1230 I sat with the boy from 1230 to 230 in the waiting area. The boy behaved very well. Sucked my fingers, slept. Finally his turn came, we got in and were at the token counter. The lady here does the initial scan of the documents. I was holding the boy and told her clearly that the mother has gone in for her passport but she still wanted the passport file number. I had go to in and get it. Handed over the boy to the wife. And then she wanted the wife’s old passport. I told her it had expired and now that she has the new passport file number why does she need it? Reluctantly she agreed.  First stage cleared. 

Then Counter A stage. The wife and the boy was nowhere to be seen. Feed and diaper change time. They did not have any changing area for the boy and the wife had to join 2 chairs and precariously balance hm. She almost missed her Counter A call. It was the boy’s turn and I sat in front of the next lady. She checked his documents, took his photo, made him do a fore finger ink impression(!) and off it went to Counter B and Counter C. 2 stages of verification and we were at the Exit. They wanted our feedback and handed us our acknowledgement forms. Finally out! My left forearm was paining. 

Sucker!

Give him finger/cloth and it goes straight to his mouth. He enjoys sucking other’s fingers. He has also started making owl like gurgling sounds. He grabs his left leg, only if he is in a diaper.

Yahoo!

And no, I did not get a job. We got a new nanny to look after the boy. A the Nanny joined today. The photos have been collected from the studio and it has come out very well. Adobe Photoshop is an amazing tool.

Doc visit and birthday blues

Took the boy to Dr S yesterday. He was so thrilled to see him. Dr S said he is perfectly fine and the cough is nothing to worry about.

The boy was so cranky and slept only at 230 am. The wife was so tired and frustrated that she went to sleep on the couch in the living room. What a start to her birthday.

Jealous?

The boy has a bad cough. And I THINK he has started feeling jealous. I was carrying my neighbor’s son and he started all of a sudden feeling very agitated seeing him in my arms.

We had a festival program in our apartment complex today.I had lowered him into the sling, facing forward. For a long time he sat, sucking his finger, my finger and eventually feel asleep. At the end of the day, saw his thighs and there were rashes :( Surprisingly he did not cry. The sling has become big for him.

Photo shoot

The boy's first official photo shoot at the photo studio. He had such a sad face for the passport photo. For the family photo he was enthusiastic initially when he saw the lights but then he got cranky and we had to come back. He has been feeling a bit low today. We went back again in the evening and completed the shoot.

Fingers, hand all in the mouth!

It is not enough he is sucking on the fingers from one hand, he has managed to put in his other hand into the mouth at the same time.

He started making moaning noises and is very aggressive with the tiger toy!

New Project

I moved into a new project at work. The sweet spot is the timing - 12 to 9 pm and flexible. If the wife can work till lunch when she starts and work from home for the remaining time, between us, we will be able to handle the boy.

Flipped!

The boy flipper over finally! It was once. After that it is mostly lying at his side with an effort to eventually move.

Turning to his side, a start

He turned to lie on his side but not on his belly. Yet! Very soon…

The boy has been drooling. Lifted him, put him against my shoulder and he starts sucking my shoulder noisily through the T-Shirt. He refuses to lie down and has to be carried.

Chicco Humidifier

Bought a Chicco Humidifier (Cold Humidifier Comfort Neb) for the boy yesterday. 

My mistake - I should have opened and checked it at the store. We got back home and found out that there were smudges and the insides had dirty water traces from drying up. Called them and went to the store to exchange it. They were apologetic and said that customers sometime return the piece and they did not clean it. Whatever!

Cold and the wife loses it

The cold was getting worse and we took the boy to Dr S on Monday. He was so cheerful that we were surprised. Steaming, Saline Nasal Spray (Nasoclear - check here and here) and he should be good. 

We started steaming - the wife held the boy and sat under a blanket with one end of the blanket over the vessel with with Karvol drops) he was able to sleep better during the night. No rubbing balm, oil or any other external application on his body were the strict orders from Dr S.

The wife nearly lost it last night. Apparently the boy was all cranky and crying but when he saw me, he gave a wide smile and stopped crying The wife did not like it and was super annoyed. How it is my fault?

New mobile

The mobile from Fisher Price had to be wound manually and the music lasted for 1 to 2 minutes. That prompted me to go in for a Winfun - The Sweet Melody Mobile.


This can be fit only on a crib and not on the bed headboard and had time (10, 15, 20 minutes), volume options and lights that was a big boon. It could be used as a music box as well and required 4 AA batteries. The boy was calm for longer periods.

Climate change

His first long car drive – 320 km one way and he took it well. We took 7 hours to get complete the journey with a stop for breakfast. He had to be fed twice and slept through most of the journey. 

Being born in a cold climate we were vary how he would adjust to a hot climate. Adjust he did, well. He was so comfortable wearing just diapers – more like relieved with no clothes clinging to his skin. The IL’s (In-Laws) and close friends fussed around him and what more did he need – gullible folks ready to carry him at the drop of a hat!

Family reunion and grandparents

On Saturday, we had a small reunion of 5 families. The boy’s first attendance at a family gathering. With so many relatives around, he was well behaved, did not fuss and slept mostly. One of the good things about such family gatherings is not only the bonding, there are so many relatives to watch over the boy.

Sunday, he took his first 50 km plus drive to visit the grandparents. Once the car is in motion, he sleeps. He also has Ellie the Elephant (musical) hanging in the car seat to keep him entertained. The wife gets to nap a bit as well. My parents were thrilled to see him.

On our own...

My mother in law (MIL) went back home. We will miss her. She felt it was time we started learning and taking care of the boy on our own without depending on others. I was also beginning to take her presence for granted. The wife and I had agreed upon one thing when the topic of babies came up – if we have them, we are not going to dump them on our parents and expect them to take care, while we run our lives.

First social outing

Apparently there is this belief that a new born cannot be taken out of home (except for emergencies) until he or she completes 3 months. Weird. I did dig around but could not find any reason behind it. One of those grandmother tales I believe. My mother was bent on enforcing it.

So once the 3 months were up, we went out for lunch with him to Habanero. He slept through our lunch, sitting in his car seat and after he woke up, I carried him around. It is amazing how courteous people are when there is a baby around.

The boy gets his birth certificate

Collected his official government birth certificate at the local municipal office. Very hassle free. Also secured his car seat in the car. It took a while for me to figure out that the base of the car seat can be removed and the seat belt looped through it. Ordered the next set of Pigeon wet wipes. They are way better than the Johnson wet wipes when it comes to the boy's skin

He catches a cold

When my friends tell me they don’t go near babies when they have a cold, as the baby may catch it, I didn't get it. How can a 2 month old catch a cold? Does he continuously sneeze? Does his nose drip?

I found out when the boy caught one. None of the above symptoms but his nose was blocked, breathing was difficult and the nights were tough. He could not sleep well and his breathing was heavy. We decided to wait it out a bit

What a knack

How does one develop a knack for babies? I have seen people who are comfortable holding any baby and the babies love them.

B has a super knack when it comes to babies. The boy is all smiles when she sees her and appears to follow her talk word by word. She is also the only one who instantly lifts him. The wife and I tend not to do it when he cries so that he does not use this as an excuse to be carried around

First vaccination

The boy had his first vaccination shots. We took to Dr S instantly. Nice doc. Unlike the other doctors who want to be done with their current patient so that they can attend to the next one, Dr S was very patient. He actually encouraged us to talk and ask questions. 3 drops and 2 shots (one on his left thigh and one on his right) and we were done. The wife couldn’t bear to see it and she turned away. The boy didn't know that they were shots and only cried a bit. Dr S suggested Baby Crocin in case he gets a fever. His first outing in the car seat - Evenflo Aura - and he was at ease with it.

What a schedule!

It has been mostly quiet days. The boy has a nice schedule. Milk, Potty, Sleep, Bath, Milk, Sleep and the minimum 4 diapers a day. The boy lies on my chest and falls asleep on some occasions. I love it when he does that. Many of my friends warn me not to do it as he may get used to it. I hardly think so.

Sleepless nights

Last night was another long one. One feed lasted from 11 to 2 am and the next one from 4 am to 6 am. I wondered how long this would go on. My parents and all the married friends with children who told it me it is a beautiful phase and parenthood has to be experienced, left out this little detail when they were singing praises – that the boy has to be fed every 2-3 hours! Dark circles had started forming under my eyes and my body clock is tuned such a way that I cannot sleep beyond 7 am. At work, it was a struggle to keep my eyes open after lunch. Black coffee and black tea provided some respite.

He got more gifts and hand me downs today. Clothes and slings and got his mobile set up.

His first bath!

Thanks to the tub. He looked fresh. Some adhesive marks on his face remained from the googles. Subsequent baths should take care of this.

For a new born, I don’t think this is the right way to give a bath. His neck is not strong and he kept sliding down in the elevated platform in the tub. I believe the best way would be lay him on your legs after keeping them together or on a mat on the ground till his neck has been set. The bath tub was this one  Baby Center recommends some good models here 

No jaundice

The wife didn't get much sleep. The previous night was bad. The feeding started at 1 and by the time he slept, it was 4. During this time, the wife was at her wits end  and also threatened to jump off the building. I did hold him and rock him but he did not sleep.

Went to Dr K yesterday morning, who said the jaundice is under control but wanted to examine the boy under morning light. We were at the hospital at 9 am the next day. Dr K looked at him and all was well. Just as we were getting into the car, the skies opened up. We wanted to shop for a  bath tub but the downpour was high. Got home and B dropped in with a bath tub – very sweet. God bless! Law Of Attraction?

Reuse. Reduce. Recycle.

We were of the opinion that there is no point in buying the boy expensive clothes as he simply outgrows them. We were more than happy to receive hand me down clothes, slings, bassinet, car seat and prams. 

The diaper trash bag stinks! For the amount of babies in our country, imagine the amount of stinky diapers piling up. A silent thanks to all the civic workers who handle this. It also reminds me that we take all these things for granted. Generate waste and throw it. Somebody will handle it. Initially I attempted cleaning the diapers before throwing them away. That does not work as the diaper had already absorbed most of it.

And it is time for me go back to work. Sigh.

It’s a boy! Delivery and the week after…

The wife wanted a girl but I was ok with either way…as long as it is a healthy baby.

We regularly attended the pre natal classes and it was very helpful. Eventually the D-Day neared and on a Saturday - 6th July, 2013 the wife was admitted to the hospital at 810 am. I stayed calm and composed – one of us had to. Chewing gum helped. The initial contractions were ok, the wife was able to manage but post lunch the contractions became long and painful. Dr G came, had a look and said the delivery would be done by 5. My heart started pounding. Wow! The wife’s pains started increasing, her water broke and each physical examination became painful. For each contraction, I started breathing with her. They were getting more and more painful with passing time. The wife was brave and handling it well. I felt bad for her and wished there was an easier way to deliver.

Finally it was labor time, I changed to pink overalls and went to the labor room with her. Although she was pushing hard, the grape (as we fondly called the boy from start) refused to come out and his heart beat stared dropping, with the umbilical cord around his neck. I held her hand through all of it. Finally Dr G suggested C-Section. That done and my son was shown to me. I was too worried about the wife to take a good look at him – born at 10:05 pm and 3.04 kg. He looked so fragile! Small little ball with a tube sticking out of his nose and helpless. He was wheeled to the NICU and was breathing was fast. The in-laws (Father, Mother, Sister) and I  congratulated each other! I rushed down to admit B/O (Baby Of) the wife. Called and texted friends and immediate family with the good news. Our room was ready and I moved up there.

Sometime after midnight (Sunday), the wife was wheeled in. She was in pain. We slept on and off. In the morning, I went down to the ICU and saw the boy in tubes. It was an overwhelming feeling to be a father and be responsible for somebody's life. I gently stroked his tiny hands and he twitched a bit.

I saw him again the next morning (Monday) along with the wife. This time he was in the photo-therapy light box because of jaundice. With the goggles on and the tube sticking out from his mouth, I felt very sorry for him. The wife tried feeding him but he refused to drink. By 730 pm he was in our room. A light box was set up and back inside he went. He lay on a water bed in it. I put my hand in and it was warm! I wonder how the boy slept through it. First night of waking up, feeding him started. I was comfortable changing diapers. The wife had a tough time secreting milk. The nurse (god bless her) started formula feed and did a swell job of burping and putting him to sleep. We were feeling bad that his first milk was not breast milk. I also realized how important is to wash my hands well before touching him.

The next day (Tuesday) he was out of the light box and had a cradle. Dr G came and discharged the wife. Phew! One step done. The wife's challenge with secreting continued and the Lactation Specialist came in. She looked like she just got off the ramp (so fashionable!) and suggested Nipple covers which helped. Time to name The Boy and since we could not decide between 2 shortlisted names, tossed a coin and decided on the name :)

On Wednesday, Dr K came and discovered jaundice traces. Back under the lights he went. He got his first visitors! We were thankful that we had a such a good support system – family, friends, the doctor. Everything fell into place.

More visitors on Thursday. I filled up the forms for his Certificate Of Birth. I had to collect it from the nearest Municipal Office in a month’s time. The hospital also took a photo of him for their own version of the Birth Certificate. We were discharged and free to go! I drove very carefully. He was too small to be in a car seat. The Baby On Board sticker did not help much. Drivers behind honked. I wondered how many of them had gone through this experience of becoming a father and having to drive their new born home. We walked into our house, decorated and welcomed by family and friends. And then the 2 hour feeding concept started in the night. It was difficult but I slowly got used to the crying and waking up to help the wife if she needed assistance.

By Friday, we were drained and I don't remember when we woke up. Diaper changed happened every 4 hours as well. He was amassing so many diapers! Wondered what his carbon footprint would be. I wished there was a clean way to dispose diapers.

On Saturday morning, I went to buy more Pampers New Baby Diapers and a Philips Avent 11 Ounce Feeding Bottle. After that went to the hospital to collect his reports. Visit to Dr K in the evening, then visit to the hospital to take a blood test for the boy, picked up his Birth Certificate, dropped the wife home and then went to the hospital again to pick up the report. Thankfully no admission required.

It was a day of visitors on Sunday. 4 families!

Fatherhood!

Fatherhood was not on my agenda. Simply because the wife and I tried and it never worked out. We refused to go for treatment, firmly believing in the natural way. If it has to happen, it will happen. My mother's suggestion of fertility treatment and seeking divine intervention went unheeded.

All in all it came as a pleasant surprise last November when the wife suspected she was expecting. I had embarked on a new venture as well. I had my hands full. A home pregnancy test and a visit to the doctor, more tests confirmed it. Wow! Unbelievable. Took some time to sink it and then realized the only way forward is to be calm and remain positive. The wife was hyper ventilating. 

The first 3 months were the careful months, the next 3 months were the a bit relaxed months and the last 3 months the extra careful months. I don’t know how time flew. The wife took the train to work and I made it a point to drop and pick up the wife everyday from the train station. The days I missed picking her up, I felt wretched and except for praying that she got home safely and doing my work, I could not do anything. In the second trimester we went on a vacation - a road trip. Now they have a fancy term for that...Babycation?

To be continued...